the untimely death of Spleen

With every twitch of Nick's hands on the steering wheel I could see our unavoidable destiny in front of me. Just a little goofing around on the narrow gravel road could start a chain of events leading to our bodies found hours later at the bottom of some Kentucky ravine. The pea gravel, cold rain, steep slopes, and Nick's insane driving would weave a tapestry of destruction. While attempting to fishtail in order to get a rise out of Suzin, Nick would cause the tires to slip, the car's path to falter, and the four of us to end up teetering over the edge of the ravine before plunging down its sides. A few smaller trees would be smashed and the larger ones would crush the metal of the vehicle. After bouncing and rolling down we'd end up in the bottom of the ravine, upside down. Our bloodied, mangled bodies would be held to the inside by our seatbelts (save Cromer, who was attempting to lie down and sleep). Are we still alive? Maybe a couple of us, just barely. Cromer was probably thrown from the wreckage tumbling down the hillside and managed to tuck and roll and come out unscathed, save a few scratches on his shins from the thorns on the ground that he cannot escape. Cromer rushes to the final resting place for Nick's car and helps Dan Freemeyer out of the broken back windshield. Dan's face is torn and bloodied, and he may have broken a couple ribs, but for the most part he is okay. Nick is worse looking. His face is covered in blood, his glasses are missing, and he's attempting to whisper something. Cromer and Dan work him out very carefully and lay him down in the leaves and Dan starts assessing the situation to work some first aid magic. The only passenger left is Suzin, in the front seat. She too is covered in blood, and her right arm is bent at a very odd angle. Cromer yells her name but there's no response. Luckily the door on the right side of the car isn't too banged-up, and Cromer manages to wrench it open and pulls Suzin's body out of the car. He tries to take her pulse and blanches. Her ribs are already broken, along with her arm, and he's not quite sure if CPR is a good idea. He yells at Dan, who's talking to the now-conscious Nick. Dan tries to take Suzin's pulse as well but can't find it either. Nate scrambles back to the wreckage and digs frantically until he unearths Nick's cell phone under a pile of leaves a couple feet from the car. He dials Suzin's cell phone, messing up a few times in his haste, and Matt Arnold answers it from Katie's car. Nate blurts out the situation and his fears and tells Matt not to let Katie drive back to the wreck site in order to avoid more carnage.

Within ten minutes Matt (driving), Katie, and Janine arrive. Despite the nursing majors present, and the expert survival skills of Matt and Cromer, Suzin is lost. After shedding a few tears over the still-warm corpse of their dear friend, the group decides it would be best to bury Suzin in these woods where much fun and frolicking had taken place. Matt and Cromer dig a shallow grave using the double-headed axe and their machetes ("Pongas"). Suzin is forever laid to rest. Cromer fashions a simple wooden cross out of two slender trees that had fallen under the crushing weight of Nick's car careening down the hillside. Using his machete he stripped the trees down. Matt used his blue nylon rope to tie them together, and with a pocket knife etched the words "Spleen" and "1980-something to 2005." Katie said a few words and shed a few tears, Matt stood stone-faced, and Cromer couldn't keep from bawling. Dan read the Easter story (it was, after all, Easter Sunday) and Janine wiped her eyes and hugged Katie. They sang "Amazing Grace" and "I'll Fly Away." After the words and songs they simply stood in silence...in the Kentucky woods...in the cold rain...the sound of the forest unbroken save for the occasional car passing. After about forty-five minutes everyone was starting to get very cold. Finally Dan broke the silence and asked, "Is anyone else ready to go home?" Slowly they all agreed. With one last glance back at the simple wooden cross they all began climbing the hillside. Cromer carried Nick on his back and Matt helped Dan. Katie and Janine followed close behind offering assistance as was needed. When they got to Katie's car it was decided to stash most of their belongings in a cave they'd explored the day before and come back next weekend for them. With the supplies stashed, Nick could easily be stuffed into the trunk. Matt took the driver's seat again, with Katie in the passenger seat. Cromer, Janine, and Dan climbed into the back. Katie said a quick prayer of thanksgiving for the lives saved from the wreck, and thanked God for the privilege of being able to share in Suzin's life. Matt started the ignition, and away they drove.

Some say you can still find it -- that simple wooden cross. And though the rain has fallen, and the winds have blown, if you look closely enough you can still make out the word "Spleen." Travelers have heard the locals speak of their "rural legends;" tales of a short figure wearing a hooded sweatshirt seen limping along the gravel roads on cold, grey mornings. Some say that is the ghost of Spleen, searching for her friends in the Kentucky forests. Some write it off as a hoax, much like Bigfoot sightings (which I contend were truly "Matt Arnold" sightings). Next time you happen to find yourself in the Daniel Boone National Forest, keep an eye out for the ghost of Spleen.