and thus i send out
my smoke and prayers to You
who heeds not

this heart that is calloused
and refuses to
give itself up so fully
out of fear
mistrust
and something unspeakable

and then He turns His eyes away and
says "It is finished."
O God!
Forgive me, Lord! i know not what i do!
i beg; let me
stay
and worship Thee.