a typical exchange in my childhood home

"Jakey really hated it when I wiped his nose last night." -Mark (my stepdad)

"Well too bad. I don't want some drippy-assed cat running around my house." -Mom (my mom)

"Um...wouldn't it technically be the other end that dripped?" -Susan (my self)

"...Yeah, you're probably right." -Mom, laughing (my mom)