prank calls with pizza hut

there is an especially fun-loving employee at ph, matt burns. he's thirty-something, father of two, been employeed by the hut for almost fourteen years, also works at a hospital with terminally ill patients....used to be a clown.......

anyways, he has a pechant for prank calling PH. i will now tell you of his prank calls because i find some of them especially amusing.

sometimes his calls are tame, he'll pretend to order a pizza with toppings such as "trout" or "blowfish" to see if the kids answering will ask if we have that topping.

sometimes he'll try and order whatever special domino's, papa john's, or donato's (i just realized we're probably the only major chain in the area that doesn't have a possesive name....no 's at PH...there's also a Papa Murphy's and Greek's)...such as philly cheese steak, or brooklyn style.

there was one time he called the olio store not long after it opened (they're like a "sister" store in the same franchise, about 20-25 minutes away) four times in one evening. the manager working, jackie, was this short little spitfire who apparantly got extremely ticked. he called a couple times doing the "trout" thing, then tried to order the domino's special, and finally asked the kid who answered to run next door and see when quizno's closed (their neighbor) because "they weren't answering their phone" and "his kids didnt want pizza they wanted sandwiches." the kid offered to call back with the closing time, so matt gave the PH number out. a few minutes later the phone rang (this is before we had caller ID....we still don't have a system) and on the off-chance it was the kid calling back, matt answered simply "hello" instead of the "thank you for calling how may i help you" schpiel. luckily, it was the kid, who had run next door to quizno's, found out their store hours, run back to PH, and called matt back on a phone number that was probably posted right next to the phone as the Fishers #.

there have been times he's called and asked if we had hitching posts for his horse and buggy because he was amish.

MY ALL TIME FAVORITE....."the blind guy"

matt burns calls until he gets amber...amber is a beautiful (drop-dead) brunette, 20 years old, very very very sweet and friendly, slightly gullible...slightly very gullible. matt informs her that he is blind and has a seeing eye dog and wanted to check and make sure before he came in that it would be okay that his dog was in our restaurant. she goes to al (the manager at the time...all part of matt's plan because he knew the reaction) and relays the message. he freaks out, his feathers get all ruffled, he rants and raves, settles down and says yes that's okay. she tells matt that's okay. matt thanks her and hangs up giggling that he just got amber to make al mad.

ten minutes later, matt thinks up the second part. he calls again, and asks for amber. she gets on the phone. he tells her he's the blind guy she was talking to earlier. they exchange pleasantries. he tells her he walked most of the way to the store and he's waiting at the stop light across the street in the marsh parking lot. would she be so kind as to look out the window and let him know when the light turns red so he can cross the street? he's the guy with the dog and the cell phone. she looks out the window.....obviously, there's no guy with a cell phone or dog. there's nobody. she gets back on the phone..."sir, there's no one there. are you sure you're at marsh?" he is certain that's where he is. he's been there before. she still can't see him. he says he's waving. nothing. he starts getting very upset. he's afraid he's lost. he's got the dog, he's on a sidewalk, he can hear cars going past, but if he's not at marsh he has no idea where he is can she please help him? by this time amber is in tears. she's looking everywhere for this lost, hoplessly helpless blind guy in the street but she can't find him and he can't find himself.

and then it's just matt burns.



ps. it's not a recorder. i think it's someone's windchimes, i just dont know where.