9.27.2005

In the Event of Meredith's Untimely Passing

i had a rather lenghtly phone conversation with the illustrious sarah dignal the other night...in fact, it lasted until 2 a.m. due to her wicked insomnia. throughout our hundreds of minutes on the cellular telephone, we discussed many topics, and laughed over many different things. one topic we both discussed and laughed through would be my subsequent actions in the event of meredith's untimely passing.

just picture it -- meredith is in indianapolis for a few days. she attends the Cromer/VeenKant Hookup Extravaganza. she spends her nights sleeping in suzin's apartment. everything seems delightful. but wait! her last night in town...SHE MYSTERIOUSLY DIES IN HER SLEEP. what is suzin to do?! how can she face life without meredith moore evans?! she ponders....there is only one obvious solution.

meredith evans must be taxidermed.

just think about it. how much fun would it be to have your beloved college roomate taxidermed into a sitting position?? OODLES of fun. i know, i've played it out in my head. she can be placed at the end of one's bed (that might be slightly creepy though, if one is in one's bed). she can sit on the couch and get addicted to soaps (NOT. soaps suck. meredith would only watch TLC). at mealtimes she can join you at the dining room table for some light conversation...and you don't have to feed her!! and of course, every afternoon Taxiderm'd Meredith would get placed on the porch for some freshening. one of my favourite situations is what to do with her when i go to IWU on saturdays -- BRING HER WITH, of course! meredith gets shotgun on the ride up and down. i could carry her into the hodson lobby to meet jon. and if we decide to go off campus for chinese or to purchase materials for coptic binding at walmart or hobby lobby, meredith would get shotgun again. "I'm sorry Jon, you have to sit in the backseat because Meredith's dead taxidermed corpse gets dibs on the front seat. And frankly, I'm not going to attempt to cram her back there seeing as how this is a two-door car. Something might break."

See, there's nothing but fun to be had.



but i seriously have considered how much Bentley would improve if the same were to occur with him. it would be just like scrubs. i could move him all over the apartment and freak people out. i like.

3 comments:

.meredith. said...

should I be laughing or crying?
susan, you have this thing with me dying..

"what if you died and i didn't notice for a few days?" you asked me that question too many times!



St. Christoper, patron saint of traveling, pray for me while I venture to indiana this weekend! I fear my hour of death is near!

eyes on europe said...

just in case anyone was wondering, jon isnt going to comment on this post because it is behavior he doesnt want to encourage. he thinks that both positive and negative encouragement is still encouragement, so he's playing the ignoring game.

sarah b. said...

Last night when I got home, I overheard someone on tv talking about being taxidermed in the event of their death... WEIRD. I think you're starting a new trend.