what i've learned as a youth leader

WELL.

EVENTFUL. yes, it has been. this past week, at least. in a way.

so i've learned another one of those little tidbits of wisdom gleaned from experience, and this experience has been a direct result of my dealings with the youth pastor at my church in hartford city. yes, another "What NOT to do as a youth pastor."

i got kicked off the missions team.

YEAH. KICKED THE HELL OFF.

now, i'm sure that you, dear readers, are jumped to conclusions about my integrity just as the youth of hartford city are doing this week. is suzin evil? pregnant? did she elope? did she cuss out a pastor? what the heck happened to her spiritual life? i bet she quit doing her daily devotions and they found out.

NO. the only horrible thing i did was miss the last missions team meeting. which i let the youth pastor know 2 months in advance would happen, and then reminded him 2 weeks before. but apparantly he thought i "blew off" the meeting and its importance...i thought i was being responsible because i didnt skip work or lie about being sick to miss it...and i need the money for tuition anyway...grrrr.

i think he actually expected me to skip work for the meeting.

so anyways, he calls me friday morning and tells me 5 times i need to check my email, and asked if i'd talked to joe (no)...then hangs up. so i drive all the way to dads and try to get online on this stupid computer (it has so many viruses) but that didnt work after 3 hours so i tried to call him back. he answered and then hung up on me immediately and then didnt answer the phone for the next 2 hours. sooooo i left a voice mail (i cant access my email, i havent all summer) and finally he calls me back and tells me that he cant allow me to go on the mission trip. i havent been living up to the same standard we're holding the students since i missed that last meeting. and he cant allow me to go or he'd lose his integrity as a youth pastor. holy freakin crap.

if he's letting certain students go on this trip...the ones who've lied, done drugs, and had sex with 3 fellow students in the youth group (all in this past year), but i cant go for missing one meeting in order to remain a financially responsible adult, daughter, and employee.

so i told him what i thought of him, very calmly and without using bad words or raising my voice. yes folks, it was pretty hard for me. i can barely believe it myself.

due to this situation and all that i've observed as a staff leader in the past year, i think he's completely inconsistent as a youth pastor and i dont understand how he's "maintaining his integrity" in this situation. he undermined me as a staff leader, made me look bad, lied to the kids about what was going on with me (i moved back home an hour and a half away and he led them to believe i just skipped out without letting him know), and then waited until two days before the trip to let me know i was no longer invited. i was already packed, even.

what pisses me off even more is that i could've made some money this week working. but he waited until the schedule was already out before he told me i couldnt come, and they couldnt work me into the schedule. so i've been sitting on my arse all week going nuts watching bad sitcoms and cross stitching. FUN. FUN FUN FUN.

and the cherry on my sundae is that pastor tom finished all this off with admitting that he's been neglecting my training as a future youth pastor because i'm a girl. he said its just been "easier" to invest in josh weesner since he's a guy. okay. well, i'm not stupid, and i've already noticed the lack of attention. i've dealt with it. but it just seems completely illogical to me that you'd admit something like that, and then take away the biggest and best opportunity to invest in my future for a very stupid excuse.

what is even more strange to me is that just about a couple weeks before i got kicked off weesner decided to go on the mission trip. that's not the weird part...that's cool, josh rocks. i have no animosity towards him because he cant control fett and probably isnt even aware of whats going on behind the scenes. what's weird is that once josh is going, i'm kicked off. and if we're concerned that josh has gotten too much attention and suzin not enough, then.....dang it. i'm thinking way too logically again. i should go jump off a bridge. or become a satanist. no, i know. a CATHOLIC. holy crap. i'll tell stupid fett i've been praying to the saint of youth pastors gone bad for the repose of his soul or some crap like that. i dont even know what repose means. i'll pretend.

sorry to all catholic readers. i'm just being shocking, sarcastic, and ironic.

every action receives an equal and opposite reaction.

so i dont know that there's anything else fett can teach me as a youth pastor. i think i've just learned the only thing he had to teach me, and it wasnt even on purpose. dont be a hypocrit as a pastor, because it will bite you in the arse.

not that i'm going to literally bite him in the rear. i'd lick a gas station toilet first. or a beach bum's toes. or a dog.

ok, end rant.

hi sarah dignal's mom. i hope i didnt offend you with the use of the words "hell" or "arse". it's righteous anger.

current mood: infuriated
current music: caryn's blaring jewel again. flashback.